...

Today i went to see my doctor and she diagnosed me a severe case of Games Industry fatigue. If you don't know what this condition is, some common symptoms include:

• sneezing when you hear about how next-gen procedural pixels are displayed in 4K resolution with real-time ray-tracing
• itching when you get exposed to too much gaming discourse online
• amnesia when having to remember the last 1st-party Microsoft game you played
• fever when you learn that one more executive person at a games studio abused their power and harassed their employees without consequences for years
• eye rolls whenever you read the words "Gam*rGate", "crunch is good actually", "the [political/social event] we feature in our game is here for gameplay purposes & is not social commentary", "LGBTQ+ is just a new market that companies are trying to conquer & it's a fad", "Big Wholesome"...
• and a general feeling of being out of sync with the mainstream games industry.

Yeah, the corporate side of the videogames world is getting more and more alien and overwhelming to me these days.

Games, and videogames in particular, are a wide, fascinating medium of experimentation full of surprises and wonders. No two games are identical, and the same game is never played in identical ways by two persons. Games can connect vastly sifferent persons through simple rules and conventions, vulnerability and discoveries, and yet here we are, arguing with each other over anything and nothing at the same time, disconnecting ourselves from the games and each other. The 'games industry' as it exists does not seem like a very fun place to be in.

But i'm tired of complaining and being grumpy and thinking we should destroy the industry (although, yeah, it wouldn't be bad) or thinking that maybe i would be better off elsewhere. I have decided to replace the words "games industry" by the plural, more mysterious and inviting to exploration "games spaces", and i have decided to find the nice things that exist in the game spaces again.

So what's nice in the games spaces? What's helping me wake up every day wanting to make games and play games ?
Here are some things that are currently relevant to me:

• the ongoing-at-time-of-writing Indie Bundle for Palestinian Aid is, as well as last year's Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality, a proof that people in games care about issues that are much larger than themselves and are struggling to find solutions to make the world better, even if those solutions seem as small as gathering a bunch of games to try and raise money for charity. And it seems to be working, people do care about things, and it cheers me up to look at the numbers that bundle is making every day!

• i'm reading books that view games with different lenses & perspectives. Lately, Brian Schrank's avant-garde videogames has been eye-opening to the diversity of games, especially as someone who foolishly thought he knew a bit about the matter, and it is thought-provoking in how much of the medium is still completely uncharted. Right now, i am reading Bernie de Koven's The Well-Played Game, a book that tickles my mind and makes me smile. I always love Bernie's works and thoughts a whole lot.

• small festivals and fun events focused on games and play have been canceled last year and this year, but i'm hopeful they will open again as soon as possible. I was lucky enough to go to the Bit Bash Festival in Chicago in 2019 as a student showcasing my game, and it was the first time i felt i truly belonged somewhere in the games spaces; i'm looking very forward to discovering other events and feeling like this again, maybe at next year's A MAZE or Now Play This?

• i am fortunate enough to be interacting online with a few people who i feel comfortable with, whom i know in the real world or i'd love to meet someday. They can be game makers, artists, friends, some of them I met during my studies... Talking with them, reading their thoughts, learning around them gives me strength and confidence and makes me want to keep them around me for a long time.

• going on itch.io and randomly clicking on intiguing titles or thumbnails is a good way to be reminded that there is more to games than big, ultra-comercial titles. Among others, games made with the tool Bitsy are happy places for me in which i always know i'll be subjected to personal perspectives and ideas for a few minutes, like listening to someone you don't know talk about something they care a lot about and taking the time to care with them.

• when i'm feeling down about the state of the games spaces that are the most publicly visible and my relationships with them, i play the games that made me fall in love with the medium. There are many of them, but the most important to me are games like KO_OP's GNOG, Florian Veltman's Lieve Oma, Honeyslug's Hohokum, and of course Namco's Katamari Damacy, along with other Keita Takahashi's works. Playing Katamari Damacy is the easiest, fastest way for me to love games again and i cheer myself up to its outrageously good soundtrack.

The games industry is not a very fun place, but there sure are lots of other, more interesting places across the games spaces. The very act of writing this text just makes me feel a bit better by letting me remember the reasons why i enjoy what i do, and why i am so lucky to be able to enjoy it. I want to keep my focus and energy on the nice things, and maybe along with other people and friends we'll be able to carve ourselves the cosiest place in the games universe, where we'll be able to live fully and peacefully.

If this has made you think about the things you find nice in the games spaces, please tell me about them, i'd be very interested to read it! You can reach me on twitter @Remi_Tootata.