Work has been consistently trying to drown me lately: as it turns out, selling notebooks and pencils at a stationery shop, drawing background art for a visual novel for a team living on the other side of the ocean, and having the ambition to make any progress at all in my personal illustration & book projects, as exciting as it all is, can get pretty exhausting. In times like this, i usually find comfort in stories, lots and lots of stories - so every chance i get, i turn to books, movies or videogames, and i pick them based on the vibes i crave to be hugged by after work.
For a while now, i was digging in Atlus's catalogue of demon summoning RPGs: Persona 3 Portable had been my way in, then Shin Megami Tensei IV made me fall in love with its mood reminiscent of John Carpenter's movie Escape from New York (only with more weird creatures) and its rich, ever-surprising interlocking of combat/demon recruiting/fusing systems. So, after having finished SMT IV, and still being hungry for more, i got myself a second-hand copy of its little sibling Shin Megami Tensei V: Vengeance and started playing it.
The game is lovely in many ways, really. Its otherworldly soundtrack is very catchy (Tennozu region, how i love your music), i have rarely had to trudge through 3D spaces this intricately laid out, and the game's systems are perfectly polished and shine brightly (maybe even a tad too brightly? I don't know, i also enjoyed the friction SMT IV had that this one got rid of). It's a lot of fun for me to sit down and figure out how to fuse, one step at a time, the perfect team of creatures that'll take care of the enemies in my area without breaking a sweat. But it's *a lot*: the ever-busy city of Tokyo may have turned into a grotesque desert, there are still so many things to be careful about at once, so many mechanics, so many deities from all around the world that beg to be played with, and the possibilities go so deep that it has become overwhelming for my tired head. I look up and i see gorgeous, yet ominous celestial objects looming over me, seemingly telling me that i'll never be comfortable here, that there will always be another abstract threat to take care of at some point. I try to take refuge in the menus of the world of shadows, but i can only spend so much time examining my demon compendium, analysing stat numbers and attack names and potentials and innate skills- before i, too, shrivel into an exhausted shadow. Eventually, as much as i love SMT V:V, i decided to take a break from the game i was supposed to use to take a break from all the rest.
And that's how i asked a bunch of friends for recommendations, and how, after unanimous replies, i ended up playing Squaresoft's Final Fantasy IX.
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Before i continue, please note that i am currently 8 hours or so in, so any reflection i'll make in the following lines on Final Fantasy's vibes and the feelings it's made bubble up in my head might be inaccurate when viewing the game in its entirety. I may change my mind later, but here where it's at right now :)
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Far, very far away from SMT's menacing drones, the game opens silently. All i can see is a dark space. A character enters, barely visible thanks to the candle he hold, then a soft, warm glow lights up the screen as he lights up the lantern in the middle of the small room. And then, of course, the action picks up a bit, other characters come on stage, a quaint combat tutorial and some exposition dialogue are introduced, but you know, nothing too serious or bombastic, and all very quiet. Final Fantasy IX isn't ever a noisy game: characters don't speak out loud, nor yell the "heyyy" and "aha" typical of other videogames inhabitants. Each screen is accompanied by the lovely background music of the area and by a mere couple sound effects (i have mainly noticed chirping birds and water flowing from fountains); and these formulas are followed in cutscenes as well, making the atmosphere of the game very serene. Battles themselves, while appropriately exciting, take their time, and seem more intent on letting me behold the quirks and behaviours of the beautiful creatures that roam the world, rather than overstimulate me with blinding flashes and loud exclamations from any party involved. It's all delightful, and even if i'm encouraged to pay attention and think about my next moves (some fights aren't exactly breezy), i haven't felt very stressed or worn down by my time with the game.
Very early on, Final Fantasy warned me it wouldn't shy away from suddenly changing sceneries and playable characters. The guy in the dark room is a thief planning to give a Shakespearian play to the whole city (which is all a scheme to kidnap the princess during the show), but as soon as his ship arrives i leave him to explore the streets and eventually stumble upon the next actor of my play, a kid in a big coat and a tall pointy hat, who i love very much by the way. Not long after i am playing as the captain of the royal guard, then the thief guy again, then the kid in the hat... As of now, the game seems to have elected to put me in thief shoes, yet it is frequently offering short scenes in which i can see, for just a moment, what others are up to while i'm travelling and adventuring. Sometimes my party will split up and i'll be able to follow what they're doing at the same time, other times i'll come back to old friends left behind, and i might even meet new characters in never-seen-before locations! Drifting like this from one point of view to another, instead of being stuck inside one fixed perspective, makes the world feel smaller (it's so easy to just be anywhere else!) and bigger (oh oh, i'm somewhere new again!) at the same time, and that much livelier for all the various ways the same place can feel to different people.
Catching my breath between one job and the others, all cosied up in my couch, PSVita in my hands, i cherish the time i spend with Final Fantasy IX. It's a treat, a series of charming fantastic places in which i'm meeting colorful animal-people, in a frankly adorable low fidelity; i have seen people online praise the Moguri mod for PC that enhances backgrounds' resolution and model textures, but for me personally? I kind of enjoy a bit of image compression here, a gentle loss of details that make 3D models fit more naturally in their painterly environments and leave the window open for the imagination. And so, among the verdant houses of Dali, in the lovely big city of Lindblum, or in open plains, i breathe in. I'll go back to the dreamy wastelands of Shin Megami Tensei V:V later, and i'll be called back by work soon enough: but right now, i am so glad to have found some peace here.
